Anyone who knows me knows I’m all alpha female. For years I tried to hide from that, but shit I’m over forty. I embrace every aspect of myself. Alpha female or not. It’s embraced.
If you’re an alpha female you’ve probably made the following complaints:
- I need a man who knows how to handle me.
- Just because I express myself doesn’t mean I’m angry.
- I may seem strong but I still have feelings.
- If I don’t do it for myself who’s gonna do it.
- Men just need to step up.
- I’m tired of always leading and making decisions.
My go to complaint was “Am I gonna have to start acting like a damsel in distress to get a man who wants to take care of me?”
Damsel in distress? Really?! I read too many damn fairy tales when I was young. That’s just not me.
Alpha Female, I know it’s frustrating. Your heart wants a man and everything in you is telling you, you don’t need one. You’ve been doing it all on your own for so long. It’s even a struggle when you’re in a relationship. You’re a strong woman and you want what you want.
It’s time to follow your heart without losing your core essence. You can be gentle and fierce at the same time.
I married an alpha male because I learned how to hone my leadership skills, which are still in reform.
My husband’s not your usual alpha male. Most alpha males run around shouting “I AM Alphaaaa Maleeee!!” from the roof tops. My husband, is one of those river runs deep kind of dudes. He just IS. And, sometimes my Alpha can be overbearing. However, I’ve been honing those leadership skills, monitoring my alpha and stepping into strategic leadership when needed. It’s called ebb and flow, baby.
Needless to say. The other day I’m complaining about something I felt HIS alpha should have been showing up for and then God slapped me in the back of the head with a thought.
“Since you’re so alpha are you being a true leader?”
That stopped me dead in my tracks. True leaders aren’t complainers. I real leader doesn’t make people feel horrible when they “miss the mark.” A real leader will inspire those around them to leadership.
A real Alpha inspires leaders to rise up out of ordinarily great men.
Are you constantly focused on the “short comings” of those around you? Or, are you guiding, challenging and inspiring them to rise up?
Here are a 5 tips to help you step in to your Gentle and Fierce Alpha Female Leadership Role
- Don’t make it personal. State what you would like rather than what they aren’t doing right.
- Edify those amazing characteristics, they already have, that made you choose them in the first place.
- Connect the dots on how those skills translate to getting you exactly what you want.
- Let them know you believe in them.
- Do it all in in the name of Love. Love at the very core of every action is more powerful than criticism.
Look, these tactics are nothing new. You already have this skill. You’ve used it in business. So it shouldn’t be so hard to use it in your relationships. You will feel ten times better when you stop shitting all over people and start edifying them to be great.
What are some of your leadership skills that you use in your relationships?
Leave them in the comments below.